Jonathan Edwards
General Superintendent, Central Yearly Meeting of Friends
SO WHY AREN’T YOU MAD AT GOD?” The question startled me to my core as my wife and I walked through the RURAL KING Farm Store in our local community. The question came from a man accompanied by his wife whom I had known by acquaintance for several years though not associating with them closely. He was, of course, referring to what at that time was the recent tragic accident that had claimed the life of our dear daughter. He went on with his expressions, “I mean, there are people on “death row” right now that God could have taken instead of someone good like her.” Obviously there was no time for a premeditated theological well thought-out answer to the question and I responded with what immediately came to my mind. I said, “Why would I be mad at the One who is carrying me right now?” It was his turn to look startled. I continued, “It’s true. We honestly feel God in our lives carrying us and comforting us right now.” “While you may be right that there are other people in our world who we might feel are more deserving of what we’re experiencing right now yet God in His mercy knows they were not ready to go. We have no doubts whatsoever that our daughter was ready to go and for that we can be thankful.” We parted ways, him acting somewhat bewildered and shaking his head, while we were deep in thought and now analyzing the conversation.
Had I answered him correctly? Why weren’t we mad at God? Should we be? The questions continued through our minds as we walked back to the automobile. We began to assess what we really believed about God and what His word teaches us about Him. To be mad at someone implies that you are somehow blaming them for the occurrence. We were, without question, at that very moment experiencing great grief and pain in the depths of our hearts as we approached Christmas 2019. We do, in fact, believe that our God is a sovereign God. We do believe that He is omnipotent having power over every aspect of our lives. Could our sovereign God have somehow prevented the accident that claimed the life of our dear daughter? Yes, He could have. So does that make the tragedy His fault and therefore grant us a reason to blame or be mad at God?
We had to take other factors into consideration. The fact is that our sovereign omnipotent God in creating man “in His image” chose to limit himself by the choice of man. A part of making man “in His image” granted him intellect (choice/will). He did not create him as a puppet nor as a robot. That in no way takes away from nor destroys our belief in a sovereign God because that was His choice. So where does pain, suffering and death come into the picture? We all know that Satan in the form of a serpent sold the lie to our first mother, Eve, that God was somehow a harsh, unloving tyrant for withholding something from man. The lie was that God was unloving. The truth was that God was withholding something—pain, sorrow and death. He did not want them to experience this kind of knowledge. As we know, our first parents bought the lie and in so doing brought everything upon mankind that we despise. Romans 5:12 tells us, “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men…” So in reality if we’re looking for someone to blame, or someone to be mad at, it must be placed directly where it belongs. It belongs primarily upon Satan who sold the lie and secondarily upon our first parents who bought the lie.
In struggling with the pain and sorrow of this life we often appropriately look to one in the scriptures who truly suffered the loss of all earthly possessions. He lost not only one daughter but three. He lost not only one son but seven. Ten children in all were killed in a single storm. At the end of his horribly tragic and traumatic day Job said, “the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21). God’s assessment of Job in that moment was, “In all this Job sinned not, nor [blamed] God foolishly” (Job 1:22). While Job could in no way comprehend all that was going on behind the scenes, our sovereign God allowed the pain that was brought into his life while we learn from scripture that Satan was the force behind it all. The amazing thing is that our sovereign God has a way of taking something so ugly and making something so beautiful out of it. It is from Job’s suffering that we learn, “[the Lord] knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”(Job 23:10). It is from Job and his suffering that we learn the concept, “shall we indeed accept [only] good from God, and not [also] accept adversity and disaster?”(Job 2:10 AMP). It is from Job and his suffering that we learn the concept, “You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer” (Job 14:5 NLT). The truth is no amount of healthy living can truly extend our lives beyond what God’s plans include. It is certainly appropriate to live as healthily as possible to get the most quality out of the days God has granted us but as the scripture says, “my times are in [His] hands.” Wow! What amazing foundational truths we have access to because of Job’s suffering. We also clearly learn from Job’s story that Satan was the force behind all of his pain and that his intent was, without question, to destroy Job’s faith. In reality, it is no different with us. Satan’s intent is to destroy faith. Yet our sovereign God takes Satan’s attempt to destroy faith and provides us with foundational wisdom to encourage and build faith!
So you might ask the question, “How do I truly continue to love God in the midst of suffering and pain?
First of all we must CHOOSE TO TRUST what God’s word teaches us about the character of God. We must choose to believe that God is exactly who He says He is—that He truly is a God of love. We must choose to believe that “the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting…” (Psm. 100:5) We must choose to believe that He really has our best interests in mind; that He truly is arranging for all things in our life to “work together for good”. To quote from Kie Bowman, “I’ve discovered faith in Christ makes the most sense when life makes the least sense. After all no one would need reassurance that ‘God works all things together for good,’ if everything was already good. No, we need the reminder that God is working for our good precisely because things aren’t always good—yet.” Seldom but occasionally God lets us in on what He is doing or has done, and it is always for our good.
Secondly we must LEARN TO ACCEPT what God allows in our life. Even if we don’t like it or would not choose it, we can learn to accept it as from a loving father’s hand. I really have grown to relate with and appreciate the words from the song, “Day by Day,” written by Caroline V. Sandell-Berg, “Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, E’er to take as from a Father’s hand…” The pain you are experiencing is real; the grief you are experiencing is real; the heart-ache that tears through every fiber of your being is very real, but your Heavenly Father is also very real, He is very aware and His hand is extended with grace and strength beyond comprehension. Don’t forget that the very one tempting you to be angry or bitter at God is the source of all that pain and heart-ache you are feeling and the result of a choice that brought it all upon us in the Garden of Eden. Remember [continued on Page 14]
[from page 11] you’re not alone. We weren’t the first ones to experience the loss of a child, and we haven’t been the last. From our perspective 29 years was way too short for the life of one we loved so much, but there have been others who have experienced that loss much earlier than we did. In reality, a life of 100 years on this earth, which is viewed as a “long life,” is actually very short in comparison to eternity. Peter reminds us that it shouldn’t surprise us when heart-aches come into this life. “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you…” (I Pet. 4:12) Do not succumb to the temptation to think that God must be picking on you when some great heart-ache comes. My wife and I have a strange sense of comfort in believing that while we do not pretend to understand why God has allowed to happen in our lives what He has, that our daughter has at least a measure of understanding beyond ours. We believe that if she could somehow speak to us today she would say, “Mom, Dad, I understand why you cry and why your hearts hurt, but if you could see what I see and if you could understand what I understand you wouldn’t cry. You would see the beauty of the rest of the story!”
Lastly REST IN HOPE. Your pain is personal. But remember our sovereign, omnipotent God is also a personal God who takes your personalized pain and provides personalized grace! God’s grace is not only sufficient, it is custom made. He customizes it for each of our personal needs. You don’t have the grace I do because you don’t need the grace I need. But neither do I have the grace He customizes for you, for our needs are different. Ultimately when we choose to trust and learn to accept what God allows in our lives, we then experience a rest in hope of all that God has yet planned for the future. Oh, the “rest” that my spirit experiences as I look ahead with hope and see a much, much brighter tomorrow, when there shall be “no more curse” (Rev. 22:3) and He “shall wipe away all tears from [our] eyes” (Rev. 21:4). With absolute certainty I can look forward to that as becoming as much reality as the pain and suffering is in this life. It is a choice to accept the grace He offers us in our pain, acknowledging our trust in His mysterious sovereignty! Oh, what sweet rest I experience as my heart swells with great love and adoration toward the loving heavenly Father who walks with me and draws nearer to me, embracing me in the midst of my suffering and pain.
